03-06-2012, 02:07 AM
Tempted to sleep through the downpour
of salt water under parched pink clouds
of lithium powder and sunset blues,
I arose.

No longer hiding from the angry storms,
I stretch out naked on the shore, exposed
to the rain and sun amidst baptisms
of salt and sand.

Cleansed of sin as I anoint my own brow,
before the infinite White waves, changing
with the rise and fall of so much hot air,
I stand.

The sun emerges from behind the tempest
as a shipwrecked man on a strange shore
without solid ground, building on pebbles

feels free

05-12-2012, 07:55 PM
Vivid imagery and the lines are nicely written and very satisfying. If I'm correct, your theme, at least one of them, is that you find freedom away from the industrialized sections of society, as seen when you juxtapose "lithium powder" with "sunset blues" and that you, the "shipwrecked man on a strange shore", away from cities, and without "solid ground" or roads, instead "building on pebbles" leads to the summation that these acts "feel free", as in on what today's people would consider "strange shores", which are relatively empty and clear lands without buildings? That was my interpretation anyways. Great writing Amkrogh!

05-12-2012, 08:42 PM

That's spot-on. One of the most important aspects of that poem was the need to escape from my surroundings, with its political and rhetorical stressors. God, when I wrote this poem, I was fed up with arrogant, puffed-up American ideals, and I wanted to retreat from my surroundings. The final lines of this poem are a tribute to Matthew Arnold's "Dover Beach."

I never thought I'd get a response to this. Thanks for the encouragement. :)

05-12-2012, 08:59 PM
Sure, I totally understand what you're expressing! I definitely relate to those feelings; our modern world, though it has wonderful aspects, can be depressing and overwhelming at times. Poetry can really hope to release that built up stress, especially when others "get it" too. So yeah, just keep writing! And if you find a utopia in a countryside somewhere in Russia, let me know!

09-12-2012, 12:01 AM
I like 'baptisms of salt and sand'. This is a lot better than some of the rhyming stuff on here. You have a good sense of structure and the emotion is nicely expressed through the imagery.

12-11-2012, 04:04 PM
I like the last paragraph of this poem, overall, this poem is quite deep and can transfers emotion to the readers. Of course, my interpretation and value might be different with other people, but for me, this is a great poem.

01-20-2013, 11:25 PM
It's beautiful :) thanks for sharing!

03-14-2013, 11:47 AM
well i liked the whole poem but this part was the best

Cleansed of sin as I anoint my own brow,
before the infinite White waves, changing
with the rise and fall of so much hot air,
I stand.

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07-20-2013, 12:25 AM
Thanks for sharing