09-06-2013, 05:11 AM
The beginning is the same, but I wanted to take more time with the story so I changed it. Kept the first version in case I ever wanna finish it.

He saw the sword lift up and prayed he could get there in time. Just as the Emperor�s soldier was about to strike a fatal blow, Leon was able to intervene.

�GET HER OUT OF HERE!� he shouted to Gus as he struck the soldier down. He was focusing on the soldier in front of him, so he didn�t see the one coming from the alleyway. Firion did, as Gus dragged a resistant Maria away. He grabbed his 2 knives, and threw them at the second soldier, buying Leon enough time for them all to continue running for their lives.

It wasn�t supposed to be this way! Leon thought as he followed his sister and friends through the woods. How can I tell them� his train of thought was broken by Maria�s abrupt stop at a cliff edge, and they all looked at the faraway smoke and flames, showing that their hometown of Phin was nothing but a pile of burning rubble by now.

The sight of it numbed them so, they didn�t hear the approaching soldiers. The first one hit Leon on the back of his head with a club, and as he fell to the ground, the screams of his sister cut into his very soul, before everything went black.

A cool breeze from the woods awoke him, and he forgot where he was for a moment, and reached his arms out to stretch, when his hand touched something sticky and warm. He shot up, aggravating an enormous headache, and looked around at the broken and bloody bodies of his sister and friends. It was Maria�s blood he had touched, but which wound it came from he would never know. He started running, and it wasn�t until his legs gave out that he stopped. He was near a stream, and he washed the blood off his hand, and stared at the red water flowing over the reflection of his face.

Leon didn�t know how long he stayed there, but eventually he heard noises and before he knew it he was surrounded by a small band of armed bandits.

�And here I thought we�d be out of luck today.� a bandit said, apparently the leader.

Leon got to his feet and looked right through him and said the truest words in his life. �I have nothing.�

The leader prodded Leon�s shoulder plates with his club. �Those armor bits you�re wearing should pay for our dinner.�

�They�re not for sale.�

�What are you, some kind of knight?�

�Perhaps I am.�

�Oh, is that so? Well your Lordship, we beg your pardon.� The leader started to bow to Leon, then he and his bandits started laughing.

A sickening sound made the bandit leader look up, and he saw the stranger had killed two of his men, and one was fleeing while the remaining one was being sliced up. The leader tried to run as well, but the stranger caught up with him.

�We�ll leave you alone! We didn�t mean no harm, sir. The Empire has enslaved Salamand, this is the only way we can make a living!� The bandit leader was squealing like a stuck pig.

�The Empire�� A vengeful plan was taking shape in Leon�s mind. �Where is Salamand?�

�It�s to the north of Poft. You can take a ship from Paloom to get there, but you need a canoe to reach Paloom.�

�Tell all you know that the Dark Knight is willing to be friend to the Empire.� With that, Leon pushed the bandit away from him, and marched off.

It took Leon three days to make his way to Paloom, thanks to his finding an unguarded canoe on his second day of journeying. At least he had items from the monsters he had killed that he could sell. The town seemed to be mostly a rest stop for pirates and sailors. After he had visited the stores, he headed to the local pub. He was surprised when he spotted a woman there, ordering some other men with her around. She noticed him too, and winked at him. After he had a couple drinks and was ignoring the drunk patrons who kept trying to talk to him, he felt a hand caressing his arm.

�Hi handsome. I�ve never seen you here before.� the woman said.

�No, you haven�t.� Leon sipped his drink and look straight ahead at the bar.

�What brings you here to Paloom?�

� It�s none of your business.�

�Well, it could be. If you�re needing to sail somewhere, my crew would be happy to take you.�

�You have your own ship?� Leon finally turned his head to look at the woman with some interest.

�Sure. Do you want to see it?�

Leon stood up. �I might at that.�

The woman smiled at him and took his arm, and together they walked out of the pub. Once outside, Leon asked her name.

�You can call me Leila, honey.�

10-08-2013, 06:15 AM
Well it seems to be a nice story..you should continue to write i guess.

Darth Revan
10-10-2013, 09:19 AM
Not a bad start, pity that this section is dead compared to how it was about 5-6 years ago. Have you considered posting it on a fanfiction website? You could get more reviews for it as well as constructive ideas to continue it.