Zhang Qi
11-16-2010, 05:15 PM
The Escape: A Great Teacher Onizuka and Gilmore Girls Crossover Fan Fiction


A crossover between the popular Japanese teen drama Great Teacher Onizuka and the popular American teen drama Gilmore Girls, The Escape is set in the fictional country of Japamerica where the worlds of both shows collide. A perverted principal, Principal Higgins Uchiyamada demands a ‘special favor’ from two of his troublesome students, Miyabi Aizawa and Paris Geller, threatening them with expulsion, and he gets it! But his perversion has gone too far and now he must escape Hartokyo!

Miyabi Aizawa – a student of Seirin academy, she is the hell-raiser in Great Teacher Onizuka responsible for terrorizing teachers in class III-4. Many students and teachers have been harassed by her and are intimidated by her wry and sardonic disposition but how will she stand up to the leverage imposed by a perverted authority who will demand from her a sickening favor?

Paris Eustace Geller – a student of Chilton academy, she is at times the anti-hero in Gilmore Girls. An ambitious, hyper-intense individual who takes a break-neck pace towards her schoolwork, she will do anything for success. She is tense, irritable and high strung and this has won her many fearful enemies but how will she react to an insane proposition by the school’s authority?

Japamerica – is the crossover of Japan and the U.S.A.

Hartokyo - is the crossover of Hartford and Tokyo.

Connectikansai - is the crossover of Connecticut and Kansai.

Chilrin-Seiton - is the crossover of the Chilton and Seirin academies.

Principal Higgins Uchiyamada – is the crossover of Principal Higgins Charleston of Chilton and Principal Hiroshi Uchiyamada of Seirin.

Some Japanese terms mentioned by Miyabi in this story:

Nandato – it means what.

Kisama – it means why you.

Jiji – it means old man.

Hentai – it means pervert.


It seems like a normal day in Japamerica, with Hartokyo’s Chilrin-Seiton academy having a busy afternoon just like any other day except for two students who are about to experience a very disturbing act. A certain Miyabi Aizawa and Paris Geller had gotten into a fight a few days ago that they were pushed into by a scheming Francine Jarvis. As if Calculus class was not frustrating enough, the demonic Francine tricked Miyabi into meeting her at the school’s parking lot for a supposed ‘truce’ between her faction and Paris’s in the recent student council conflict. However, Francine had lured Paris’s trusted comrade into a ruse, planting a secret camera somewhere in the parking lot and timing it to photograph Miyabi at the time that she arrived to meet her. The next day, Francine showed the pictures to Paris, making her think that she is being betrayed by one of her closest cronies who she thought allied with the enemy. Angered by this, Paris initiated a verbal argument with Miyabi and words like ‘beeyatch’ and ‘screw you’ flew across the conference room of the student council before the shocked teacher who acted as an arbiter in the conferences stepped in to calm the two students.


For their misbehavior, they are given a summons and they both make their way quietly to Principal Higgins office where their punishment will be decided. Principal Higgins Uchiyamada stands quietly, facing the window of his office, and observing the gray clouds outside with his arms crossed and placed behind his back.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Geller and Ms. Aizawa. Please feel free to take your seats.” The principal says.

“I must admit I am very disappointed with you two. The president and vice-president of the student council bickering vulgarly in the sacred halls of Chilrin-Seiton’s Student office… about what by the way?” The middle-aged principal asks in a rather superficially cheery and theatrical tone.

“Is it about a boy perhaps?” Principal Higgins Uchiyamada sits on his chair and places his elbows on his desk, with his chin rested on his clasped hands.

Both girls look away from each other and stare at the walls spitefully until Paris breaks the silence. “It’s always about a boy when girls are arguing.” She whispers.

“Yeah, the sexist pig.” Miyabi adds, somewhat finding common ground with Paris on this issue despite their heated argument.

“What are you two saying?” The principal asks upon overhearing the two girls murmur, his eyes brightening and a twisted glee etching on his wrinkled face.

“I need to know what you two girls were arguing about. So what is it? Is this a power struggle of some kind?”

“Dipshit, you couldn’t possibly understand what we argued about! All adults are just rotten to the core!” Miyabi comments bitterly.

“And what is this ‘dipshit’!?” Principal Higgins stands up from his seat and waves both his hands around. “You think I do not know what that means because I am old! Why this is an outrage! The youth of Japamerica are degrading into vulgar hoodlums in this decadent age of rap, booze and sex!”

“Well what words do you expect coming from a traitor like Aizawa?” Paris comments nastily with a hushed tone.

“Hey you’re the one who didn’t allow me to explain myself and now you call me traitor, get real bitch!” Miyabi puts her right hand to her left shoulder before swinging it outwards to Paris’ left cheek.

Paris parries Miyabi’s slap and stands up, pointing her index finger towards Miyabi’s head. “Damn it! You’ve called me that for the nth time! And I’ve had it up to here with you!”

“Hey if you can’t take a hint, I’ll reiterate this for you a thousand times over if I have to!” Miyabi cries out to Paris, leaning forward against her blonde haired superior.

“That is enough! It pains me to see two beautiful young women argue like this, so please settle down.” Principal Higgins stands up and motions for the two girls to take their seats once again.

Paris and Miyabi sit down, with Paris exhaling tiredly and Miyabi resting her right cheek on her hand. Principal Higgins then continues to speak, pointing his right index finger upwards with his expression contorted like a maniacal clown. “Alright it is time we reach an amenable agreement, I will forgive the both of you on one condition and that is that I must be permitted to lick your feet.”

“Nandato!? Kisama jiji!” Miyabi cries out angrily in Japanese.

“What the hell!? Lick our feet!?” Paris shouts out.

“This is sexual harassment for God’s sake!” Miyabi adds.

“Yeah can’t you just suspend us or something? I know! The two of us can do community service!” Paris suggests to the principal in a hostile and worried tone, her eyebrows narrowing down to the bridge of her nose.

“You insulted the principal and I have got it recorded on my Nokia N-92. You are both getting expelled if you do not do the simple favor that I ask of you two sweet young girls.” The principal says while staring obsessively at his mobile phone and cuddling it as if it is a newborn baby.

Paris and Miyabi stare grimly at each other. Paris asks Miyabi sincerely. “Shall we let him lick it?”

“Will that old hentai give us any other choice?” Miyabi replies to Paris.

Before Paris and Miyabi can begin taking their shoes off, Principal Higgins speaks. “Wait, I will be the one to take them off!” He says before laughing perversely, rubbing his hands together, and kneeling down on the red-carpeted floor.

He starts with Miyabi. Savoring his perverted pleasure, he begins by rubbing his cheek against Miyabi’s right knee sock, its smooth nylon surface comforting his face. He then proceeds to pull out her leather slip-ons and hooks his teeth into the brim of her right sock. He begins to slide the navy blue sock down, pulling it off slowly. As he exposes the ankle completely, he raises Miyabi’s foot up and positions his mouth upward before biting gingerly once again into the loosely hanging cloth of the partially removed sock and pushing it out of her foot, his nose savoring the fetid scent as it is glued to the sweaty piece of nylon which had been worn by his student all day. Now comes the fun part in which Paris and Miyabi will sweat in aghast and stare at their principal with panic in their eyes: Principal Higgins spits the sock from his mouth and rubs the sole of Miyabi’s foot against his wrinkled face, his lips lovingly absorbing the foot’s sweat and his tongue sticking out occasionally as he somewhat massages the foot with his lips. He does the same thing to Miyabi’s left foot for about ten minutes before he goes to work on Paris.

Learning from her unfortunate lackey, Paris Geller removes her footwear already so that she can avoid the discomfort of having the principal pull off her socks with his teeth. Besides the teeth might damage the nylon fibers, Paris realizes as she anxiously extends both her feet to Principal Higgins and allows him to give her his twenty minutes of hell. Though Paris thinks she can lessen her suffering by removing her shoes and socks herself, Principal Higgins craftily compensates by giving her a toe-suck before sliding his cheeks up each of her legs, going as far as her thighs. At the end of the fetish session, Paris and Miyabi simply feel violated beyond recovery. Principal Higgins offers to put their footwear back on but the two girls simply pick up their shoes and hosiery and run off grief stricken and shocked. Outside the principal’s office, Miyabi and Paris are flanked by their friends, Tristan, Jamie, Madeline, Kikuchi, Kunio, Louise, and Fujiyoshi but they just ignore their clique, run straight to the bathroom barefoot, and puke in disgust into the restroom’s white glass sinks.


It is already evening and Principal Higgins paces around his living room. He knows that he will not get away with the perverted act that he committed against those two teenage girls so he is prepared. He constructed a gas-turbine powered hi-velocity car to escape the long arm of the law that is probably already headed to his house. He withdrew sufficient amounts of money to escape Hartokyo for a few days before flying off to another country. He knows that one day the insane sexual urge he repressed all those years will finally burst out if given the right opportunity.

Confound it! Why did Ms. Geller and Ms. Aizawa have to make trouble in the first place? Now look at what they have made me done… ha ha ha ha ha! I just could not hold it in any longer, I just had to have that pleasure, the pleasure of their sweaty feet! Now I have no choice, for what I have done, I could go to jail for sexual harassment, so I will escape! Principal Higgins thinks, while walking along his living room and taking out special weapons from a cabinet for his self defense against the impending arrival of the police: a Glock 18 9mm machine pistol with an RPG adapter and a 20mm RPG (rocket propelled grenade) fixed onto its muzzle, a Remington magazine shotgun with an ultraviolet targeting light underneath its barrel and a push-button dagger.

He shoulders his shotgun and ties the holster of his pistol to his right thigh whilst his dagger finds a convenient location beside his left forearm covered nicely by a black jacket and loaded into a quick release mechanism activated by sudden arm thrusts.

Just as the principle passes by the sofa in his living room with all his battle gear, he hears an explosion. The explosion, coming from the wall beside his front door, is big and loud and it causes him to fall to the floor of his house. As Principal Higgins struggles to regain his footing, a voice amplified by speakers sound across his living room, emanating from the smoke that recedes from the powerful blast.


“Never!” Principal Higgins shouts back at the electronic voice.

“THEN YOU LEAVE US WITH LITTLE CHOICE.” The electronic voice says.

Shortly afterwards, two 20mm Vulcan Cannons emerge from the smoke. Principal Higgins can automatically tell that it is the new Crime-Buster robot manufactured by the Japamerican government to aid in law enforcement. A ten foot tall monstrous mechanical beast, the Crime-Buster’s arms are equipped with machine guns that will normally be used against fighter aircraft. Knowing that the Vulcan Cannon’s incendiary shells will easily tear holes through him, Principal Higgins ducks low under his couch to dodge the machine gun fire the Crime-Buster’s guns spray with great ease across his room. After spending hundreds of rounds of ammunition, the Crime-Buster stops the motors causing the multi-barrel assemblies of its Vulcan Cannons to revolve and activates the thermal sensors on its overhead camera to detect signs of life. Before it can react however, Principal Higgins rolls right out of his couch and fires the RPG fixed onto the muzzle of his Glock 18. The RPG strikes the robot’s chest dead center and explodes, blowing the machine to bits.

Principal Higgins frantically makes a break for his garage but is flanked by two S.W.A.T. men who delight in firing their MP4A5 submachine-guns at him. Having a sudden burst of super speed thanks to his psychotic determination to get away with his shameless crime, Principal Higgins dodges all the bullets that are fired at him and blows holes through the necks of the black suited cops whose necks are unprotected by their Kevlar armor. He fires one round from his shotgun at point blank range towards the cop at his left and cocks the firearm again before delivering the next round towards the neck of the other cop. Now unimpeded, he makes a somersault into the driver’s seat of his jet-powered car and starts it. Being too hurried to activate the automatic door of his garage, Principal Higgins rams his car through it and bursts out of the wreckage with his car barely scratched. He purchased a titanium bumper for the front of his car just for emergencies like this and it proves effective in aiding his desperate escape.

Now that he gets his car onto the road, things seem like they will go smoothly. But unfortunately for the perverted principal, the cops have a backup plan. A Humvee hiding in the empty lot beside his house rolls right out, with a S.W.A.T. team member manning a chain gun mounted on its roof. Upon seeing the Humvee give chase, Principal Higgins steps on the gas pedal and speeds up to dangerously high velocities. The S.W.A.T sticking his head out onto the sunroof responds by firing the .50 caliber Browning machine gun, knowing that even if the car can reach 250km/h, it cannot compete with a bullet accelerating to the subsonic speed of 1,000km/h.

Beads of sweat now form on Principal Higgins head as he tensely decelerates his car the instant the Humvee fires at him, going closer to the armored SUV to fall behind the chain-gun’s firing range. As the chase continues, Principal Higgins now and then swerves left and right the instant he hears machine gun fire from behind him. Dodging the machine gun fire is becoming exhausting for Principal Higgins, but luckily there are few cars ahead of him and this makes driving easier, however it also makes it easier for the S.W.A.T. Humvee to shoot at him since no civilians will be affected. The chase just reaches a new level of difficulty when two cobra attack helicopters gain on him and fire their micro-missiles at his agile car. The combination of machine gun fire from two helicopters and a Humvee proves too much for Principal Higgins and so he makes one last desperate move: he pushes the red emergency button on his dashboard to fire up the gas turbine at the rear of his modified car.

It is not activating? Confound it! I am not getting imprisoned in a correctional facility for 25 years to a lifetime! Principal Higgins thinks as he slams the button on his dashboard several times in a desperate rage.

As if blessed by God himself, the jet engine miraculously activates just as Principal Higgins climbs into a highway on-ramp. The jet engine that Principal Higgins constructed is truly a marvel for him since it shoots his car up to 630km/h and automatically makes it impossible for the Humvee and the helicopters to catch up. The S.W.A.T atop the Humvee scratches his head while he stares at the speeding car, though his awe is quickly dissolved when he is handed a rocket launcher from below by one of his teammates. He speedily mounts the launcher on the humvee’s roof and slips a TOW (Tactical Optical Wire-Commanded) antitank missile into its breach. The missile instantly shoots off at mach 10 (approximately 11,850 km/h) from the launching tube and catches up with Principal Higgins’ jet-car. Principal Higgins, with his back glued to his seat because of the car’s high velocity, anxiously swerves his car to the right lane to dodge the incoming missile but fails to notice the lowered ramp of an empty car-carrying trailer ahead of him and so his subsonic automobile climbs the truck’s ramp and flies off into the air.

After a few seconds of flying through the air, his jet-mobile crashes into the road and, having exhausted all of the kerosene in the jet engine’s fuel tank reverts to a normal driving speed. It is now early morning, 4:00 am according to the clock on the dashboard. Though exhausted and haggard from the recent confrontation with the police, Principal Higgins knows what he will do next: drive into the woods kilometers away from Hartokyo and get a good night’s rest in uncharted territory. After all, being a wanted man and probably all over CNN, sleeping in a motel will not be safe for him so instead he will have some sleep in a no-man’s land far away from the rest of society before he decides what to do next.

11-16-2010, 05:19 PM
The ending sucks.

11-16-2010, 06:17 PM
Kamen Rider Hibiki was in one of the GTO specials!

You need to start posting this stuff in the fiction forum though, mang.