08-19-2011, 02:26 PM
I haven't given this a title yet. This is only part of the prologue.



Winds from the north howled bringing the rain and snow to the group huddled around the fire at the western edge of the Paragin Fault. The odd combination of snow and rain made the group huddle close, the weather a bad omen in those parts. Amber glow around the fire spread only a couple of feet before the night ended all visibility to the surrounding area. Thick black clouds blocked out the night sky meaning there was no way other than by magical intervention to determine any nautical directions so travelling had to be suspended until daybreak. Horses had been staked near to the fire to ensure they didn�t freeze in the night and the riders hunkered on logs around a roaring fire battling with the cold. Wearing the thick white and green cloaks of the Yemeth scouts, the men were accustomed to cold but even to them the wind was bitter and cruel. Hunks of tundra rabbit roasted against the fire on skewers which was caught midday, the cold keeping it fresh. Normally the scouts would be weary of wolves for the roasted meat, but tonight even the wolves sought shelter.

As the men ate and spoke closely as to be heard over the wind, none dared look at the western edge of the fire. There alone sat a man whose eyes were glazed and far seeing as he gazed into the fire. He had asked to join their group after encountering them on the Moon Trodden Path. Although the Yemeth scouts are not known for their hospitality to passing travellers, at the procreation of eighty silver crowns the captain had admitted him one night�s company with the group. This had soon been decided to be a mistake by all but the captain. As they had walked through the bleak tundra during the day, the man who followed the party had never said a word nor had he shown his face below his hood. Whenever a scout had attempted to communicate with the traveller they had been met with silence and an overwhelming need to vomit at being in proximity to the man. After three men had attempted this they had taken to giving a wide birth between the man and themselves lest they fall ill. As night had come he had taken place on the western side of the fire and not moved since, his eyes fixated on the fire in the centre of the camp. Anyone that moved onto the same long as him felt as though his skin crawled as though trying to get away. As a result the man sat alone, his gauntleted hands placed on his gilded knee guards and his hood lowered so the fire light did not reveal his face.

Unlike the normal northern wear the traveller did not wear a heavy cloak or furs; in their place he wore a think black cloak and a form of black scale armour. His sword could be seen poking out from the loose cloak promoting a serpents head with two ruby eyes and an emerald tongue and a sapphire encrusted hilt, not an item the casual traveller would carry. This was a key reason for the man being accepted into the group as it was suspected he was a nobleman�s son and as such warranted protecting. However, it was evident that the captain seemed all too happy too accept the man into the group without asking for papers or a name, some men had even suggested that the captain had been mesmerised but this was never expressed for fear of punishment at the mention of the possibility.

Yemeth being a town of the Earth bound followers did not practise or utilise magic in any form in their everyday lives or military training. As a result of this lack of knowledge, the men were unaware that the man who had been able to so casually join their group was emanating an enormous amount of power. Casting a shimmer over the scout captain had been too easy and his weak mind had folded to the man�s will in an instant. Being neither a noble nor anyone with title or stature the protocol would be to turn away such a traveller, but the man in black needed those men. His objective couldn�t be completed without their help. Thumbing the sliver of silver in his hands as his eyes stayed fixed on the fire, a slow humming sound could be heard around the camp. Starting as a slow buzz the humming slowly grew in volume till it was persistent on all sides. Stakes flew and the horses ran crazed by the sound into the night. Men stood and drew swords cautiously eyeing the darkness for any sign of movement or the source of the humming. Again the humming grew louder, power following the sound making the back teeth of the men ache and their heads start to pound. An acrid taste of metal feel across their tongues and many of them threw up as the sound continued to increase. The traveller sat there, his eyes never leaving the fire and his hand still playing with the sliver of silver in his hands. One man turned his attention to the traveller and instantaneously fell to the floor, seemingly dead. Alone the captain tried to organise his men, trying to form them into a tight circle around the fire but all was in disarray and the men could not hear anything but the humming. As the sound got to a peak bordering on a shrieking whistle the traveller slowly rose to his feet eyeing the men around him with an inhuman gaze.

Advancing towards the nearest man, a stocky five foot eight man standing with a weathered eye to the darkness he slowly gripped the hilt of his sword. As the pristine metal got free off the scabbard, the perverse marks of Schralk magic could be seen scrabbling along the blade releasing an even more intense wretched taste of metal. In silence the traveller made one gliding motion and a downward slash and the scout fell. As the blood stained the snow around the headless corpse the traveller swiftly moved to the left skewering the next scout through the torso. As the others noticed what was happening the traveller had already moved onto his third victim, holding the second still on his blade he forced his hand into the man�s chest. With a flick of his sword the second man flew into the darkness and the traveller turned and stood looking at the nauseated shambling remains of the Yemeth scouts. He stood across the fire from the remaining five men, his eyes showing below his dark hood as his third victim convulsed on his arm. His face was straight and rough with a scar down his left cheek. It could be seen that he has been in many battles but the most defining feature were the man�s eyes. Large and wild, the pupils of his eyes were replaced by white fires burning seemingly inside his skull. Looking into his eyes two of the men blacked out leaving only the captain and two others. Stepping forward the fire seemed to die around him seemingly terrified of his presence. As he advanced the three remaining men shook and trembled, the bile forcing its way up their throat and the pounding in their head making it impossible to concentrate. With a flick of his hand two sparks of lightning flew from his hand into the two scouts before him leaving a hole in both their chests. Blood sprayed from the motion across the captain�s face as the men beside him fell to the ground as smouldering carcases.

Stepping forward the traveller stood in front of the captain sheathing his sword clearly not seeing the limply held weapon before him as a theat. A swift strike across the face and the captain fell to the ground his sword spinning from his hand into the darkness. Desperately the captain tried to scrabble through the ice and snow to get away from the traveller nothing but survival on his mind. A sharp kick to his side made him turn over clutching his side. His vision blurred by the falling snow and rain the man�s starred into the fires where the traveller�s eyes should be. Croaking came from his throat as he tried to say something, or scream. Gripping the captain�s wrist the traveller hauled him off the ground with ease holding him like an infant child that wouldn�t behave. Unable to alter his gaze the captain was terrified as the fires in the travellers eyes bore into him. Sizzling could be heard as the hand that held the man started burning into his flesh. Blinded by the pain the man briefly came to his senses and tried to kick the cloaked figure. The vicious assault struck the traveller in the chest and was met with sparks and an overwhelming force that threw the man backwards. Still holding the captains arm tightly, the force nearly tore his arm off instead only dislocating his shoulder. Hanging like a caught and gutted fish the captain went limp as he passed out. Slowly the traveller titled the man�s head to one side and placed the sliver of silver between his fingers. In an instant the silver became animated, like a small shimmering slug that crawled over the gauntleted hands. Applying the silver to the captain�s neck he watched as the silver slowly burrowed into the jugular vein. Inch by inch the small lump in the man�s neck inched upwards until it disappeared below the jaw. Examining the captain�s neck there was no scar or tearing in the skin and he seemed to be unaware of what had just happened, his eyes still closed. Carrying him like some hunters trophy he laid the captain next to the dying fire and sat on the nearest log. A glance at the fire and it roared into life again battling away the cold. Again the traveller sat motionless, his eyes gazing distantly into the fire as the captain lay unconscious at his feet.

Frozen and stiff the corpses of the scouts lay where they had fallen until day break. One by one the traveller collected his fallen prey and assembled them in a row next to each other, the severed head placed on the chest of its owner. Once they were assembled the traveller went back over to the guard captain and placed him on the end of the line, his head at an angle to the waist. Once satisfied all was how it should be the traveller raised a hand and began to whisper. Winds began to roar and the snow at his feet melted, the ground became scorched and charred. One by one the corpses besides the unconscious captain began to pulse a dark crimson light from under their heavy clothing. Chanting louder and faster than any human mouth would permit the traveller drew and small silver goblet from under his cloak and knelt holding the cup high. As the weather worsened, trees creaked and branches snapped and visibility around the camp became blind. Slowly the bodies of the scouts crisped, rotted and crumbled under the intense crimson glow leaving a small puddle of emerald colour liquid resting upon the heavy cloaks.

As each corpse was reduced to this small green puddle the traveller chanted so fast his words began to blur, his eyes never leaving the cup held up before him. As the last corpse dissolved he slammed the cup into the scorched earth at his knees. Like a reversed fountain the emerald liquid sprayed into the relentless winds and darted into the cup not spilling a drop. With great care, never ceasing his hissing chanting, the traveller rose and edged his way towards the still body of the captain. Standing at his feet the traveller threw the liquid over his body. Seemingly the liquid suspended itself above the body in one spherical blob slowly shimmering and shaking. Gradually the liquid began to spill over an invisible barrier down and around the captain in a elaborate pattern, ending in a circle of green around his unconscious husk. Suddenly, slamming his hands into the ground the traveller forced one last word out of his inhuman mouth as the liquid squirmed across the captain�s body and into his mouth, nose and eyes. Silence fell as the weather immediately returned to its original translucent state, the captain remained unconscious as the snow and rain began to fall steadily, the hurricane ferocity subsiding.

Collapsing onto a log he began to weaze, his throat was burning from the powerful magic�s he had utilised and forced from his chest. The fires in his eyes were far less intense and all he could manage was to sit and stare into the fire.

08-25-2011, 10:13 PM
As much as I can respect that you've written this, it's not really my preference of a text so I'll end up giving the most critical remarks that probably won't be entirely reliable. But I'll give you feedback from myself anyway:
To sum it up, the feeling I get at the beginning of the prologue tells me this is just going to be a generic fantasy story that does little to differ itself from others. I will say that as you progress it changes those thoughts and actually feels more like an actual book. However, that feeling at the start is very off-putting for me (I wouldn't think this applies to everyone, heck, it may be something that only I feel) and sort of deters me from continuing, thus resulting in missing what's to come. Again though, I can assume that were I someone who enjoyed these types of stories more than myself, then I would probably find it quite enjoyable to read through everything.

09-22-2011, 11:19 AM
That is not a bad idea.The same passion will make you a big one.Carry on man.